But neither (as it appears) are such antiquated evils any agreeable entertainment to people of this perverse disposition; they hearken most to modern tragedies, and such doleful accidents as may be grateful as well for the novelty as the horror of the relation. All pleasant and cheerful converse is irksome to them; so that if they happen into a company that are talking of weddings, the solemnities of sacred rites, or pompous processions, they make as though they heard not, or, to divert and shorten the discourse, will pretend they knew as much before. Yet, if any one should relate how such a wench had a child before the time, or that a fellow was caught with another man’s wife, or that certain people were at law with each other, or that there was an unhappy difference between near relations, he no longer sits unconcerned or minds other things, but With ears pricked up, he listens. What, and when, And how, he asks; pray say, let’s hear’t again! And indeed, that proverbial saying, Ill news goes quick and far, was occasioned chiefly by these busy ill-natured men, who very unwillingly hear or talk of any ting else. For their ears, like cupping-glasses that attract the most noxious humors in the body, are ever sucking in the most spiteful and malicious reports; and, as in some cities there are certain ominous gates through which nothing passes but scavenger’s carts or the sledges of malefactors, so nothing goes in at their ears or out of their mouths but obscene, tragical, and horrid relations. Howling and woe, as in a jail or hell, Always infest the places where they dwell. This noise is to them like the Sirens’ song and the sweetest melody, the most pleasant hearing in the world. Now this curiosity, being an affectation of knowledge in things concealed, must needs proceed from a great degree of spite and envy. For men do not usually hide, but ambitiously proclaim whatever is for their honor or interest to be known; and therefore to pry into what is industriously covered can be for no other purpose than that secret delight curious persons enjoy in the discovery of other men’s ills,—which is spite,—and the relief they gather thence, to ease themselves under their tormenting resentment at another’s prosperity,—which is envy;—both which spring from that savage and brutal disposition which we call ill-nature.